Monday, 9 March 2015

Well Bonjour...Port Salut!

This post is for the cheese lovers! We truly are the greatest people. To me, anyone who understands the AMAZINGNESS that is cheese is a fantastical person who deserves my cheesey sentiments, which might I add come extremely rarely.

This is my latest cheese obsession which has taken over my life and breakfasts. I do have my sister to thank for this, even though she is pretty much a cow otherwise. But now she might as well be the holy cow that produced this beauty, because this cheese has truly put that cow of a sister back in my good books.

Introducing this baby to my favourite meal of the day means a lot. You all know how much breakfast means to me, and now I share it with this godess practically every day. You could say... I have wifed this cheese! 

Let me introduce you to my cherie amour, the French cheese named 'Port Salut. ' Might I add, I cannot say it without emphasising the 'ut' in salut. SALOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. 
What made me love this cheese was it is the kind that you can eat and and and eat and eat and eat and (more eats) for a lot longer than other cheeses before you get that cheese headache. So basically my point is you can eat it and be satisfied all in one. Its flavour is a mild one and its texture is creamy and bouncy, a bit more creamy than a brie, but it retains a squidge to it. It isn't the type of squidge we all love in a mighty backside, but more the type of squidge you get on a nice plump matress. Yes, this cheese is what dreams are made of. I first started my love affair by having thise cheese on basic toast. But then I realised, this ain't no basic cheese, it is definitely more deserving of greater bread. The way I have been lovin' it, is on a nice crisp toasted baguette or soya and linseed bread (drizzled with some extra virgin olive oil and black pepper), a bit of mayo and ketchup, the cheese sliced on top, and then MORE added ketchup. Might I add, my fav ketchup is the Marks and Spencer kind. Its sweeter and has more of a tang, working great with this mild flavour. Don't let my 'mild' desciption fool you, the cheese taste is mild but the overall cheese is MIGHTY. A lot of people peel the orange bit away because it doesn't sit right with them, but its edible and me likey orange, and I have no time to faf around. Plus, it doesn't really taste like much, and I am too busy being blown away by my wondrous concuction to notice. My breakfasts have now become this with a cup of my beloved cardamom tea on the side. A subtely spicy/sweet tea with cheese will forever be my fav thing. I love biting into the cheese on bread and sipping the tea over it. The way it melts in your mouth and all the tastes combine is just...Splendid. It really just makes me sit back and sigh. All morning I bite and sip, and I look adorable doing so. 

And so, I promise to love you forever and if I forget to embark in your savoury goodness during the morning, I promise to eat you at night and allow for you to give me nightmares. I will never say Au revoir to you, dear cheese.  *mumbles words I learnt in GCSE french to feel even more sexy than this cheese already makes me feel*

Thursday, 5 March 2015

An Ode To Kim Kardashian

 I realise the following is not in any shape or form an ode. However, as i type these words I feel like a poet in the night...Whenever I speak of this woman, my words feel like they are song.

Someone please explain the hate towards this woman?

No actually don't, ME NAH CARE.

I'm going to keep this post short and sweet, just like that delectable body of hers...


I don't care if she is plastic, she is a wonderful work of art and I applaud that who has created such a beauty. In fact I will find them and kiss them and cry and beg them to make me look like her :'(

'But she posed nekkid and has a bebeh. What kinda mother does that?' THE SEXY KIND. God if I could have a baby, still look sexy, I would do the same thing and more. I would force the entire world to stare at me and cry. People need to accept it is her body, stop crying, start salivating. And for those who are gonna start the whole 'but she got rich of a sex tape'.. please..this tweet..this tweet...

I don't need to say much. Just be reminded, innit.

Oh and let me just add this into the mix

Yeah, you're welcome.