Friday, 28 September 2012

10 Day You Challenge: 7 Wants


1) I want to be able to do my reading for university. I love reading, but reading because I have to seems to be the most impossible thing ever

2) I want someone to take me to the cinema. Not to watch a movie, but to buy me pic n mix, popcorn, nachos, a drink. Then take me back home and allow me to just eat it all in my bed

3) I want an apology. Not from anyone in particular. I don't think many people owe me one, but the people that do, it's because they're pathetic, so them apologising will make me feel good. I like feeling good.

4) I want Jaden Smith to magically become my age. WHY IS HE 14 AND WHY HAVE YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE A GODDAMN PAEDOPHILE?

5) I want university to be over. It's my first week back of my final year, and I'm already fed up. But, I don't wanna have to go through all the final year work to get to the end grrrr

6) I want my temperature to go away. My head is burning and it AIN'T NICE YO.

7) I want to get a nose piercing... But I don't know if it would suit me. Until then I will continue to draw fake ones on me, trying to figure out if it will look good lmao

I now have The Spice Girls' song 'Wannabe' in my head. WOOP

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

10 Day You Challenge: 8 Fears

 Eight Fears

1) Pigeons. Make that all birds. I don't fear them when they're flapping their wings away from me, but when they are flip flapping near me, I CAN'T HANDLE IT. THEY ARE SO CRAP AT WHAT THEY'RE MEANT TO BE GOOD AT (flying) that I constantly find myself having to dodge out of the way of their lethal wings. Horrendous HORRENDOUSSSS creatures.

 2) Snakes. Yet again another animal, but it's not my fault most animals piss me off. I have never seen a snake in the same light since I saw a snake eat an entire other animal (a sheep or something) on T.V. That shit wasn't right.

3) Failure. A pretty cliched fear, but I fear my laziness will make me end up doing nothing. Even though I enjoy doing nothing, I don't really want that to be my future (surprisingly). I also hate failing even little things, so I over stress myself to the max.

4) Hunger. Lol, don't think I need to say much here haha

 5) Ticket barriers. I always run through them in train stations because I fear that if I walk sliggghtly slow, they will just shut back on me in my face.

 6) Pregnant women. And I mean ready to pop pregnant women. This fear isn't that bad, until I'm face  to face with one for more than 10 minutes, and I'm forced to think about the fact that there is a human being INSIDE OF YOU GODDAMNIT. It's all too freaky for me. A lecturer of mine at university was pregnant, and half way through the lecture I couldn't concentrate anymore because of how freaked out I got.

7) Public toilets. I can never EVER use a public toilet, unless I am BURSTING and even then I will be crying and dying inside. I don't know what it is, fear of contamination or something, but I never use them. Even if I actually do need to pee, I just walk into the toilets and I won't need to anymore, out of fear lmao. That's actually probably really bad for me so I shouldn't laugh.

 8) Growing old. Let's all cry. No one wants to grow old and be all nostalgic. I never wanna look back and regret not doing certain things or whatever. I'm only 20 and I'm already feeling like I wanna be young again. Sighhh

I think I need a hug after that lol joke I have no emotions. (haha)

Saturday, 22 September 2012

10 Day You Challenge: 9 Loves

Nine Loves

1) Eminem. I've gone on about him before, so I'll keep it short. I love him, his music, his lyrics. Everything.

2) Good conversationists.... That's not a word, but ya know what I mean. Nothing makes me happier than actually sitting with someone and managing to talk about everything and anything. EFF YOU PEOPLE WHO KILL CONVOS WITH 'WHAT YOU UP TO?' a.k.a wuu2, wubu2...etc . etc. etc. stfu please.

3) Movie nights... Getting in bed with cream..snacks...any sort of snacks.... And just watching a movie

4) Monkeys. They be cute.
5) That moment of relief when you finally finish something.. It can be anything from finally finishing an essay, or finally realising a bad situation has come to an end. THAT WONDERFUL SIGH AND ARGHGHGH I LOVE THAT FEELING

6) Online shopping. A lazy procrastinator's heaven. I  LOVE online shopping. It's easier and Paypal feels like you're spending nothing. Online sales are so much easier to shop, because you can filter through them.

7) Getting into bed after a long day. I love my bed, I do everything in my bed, and I don't mind continuing my life with it being the only thing I come home to. (I'm not sad, you're just jealous).

8) Winter. It's my favourite time of year... Mostly because I can layer up my clothes and dress like shit and it will be acceptable. But also because people seem to be happier and people seem to hug more and I LOVE HUGS :'( (if you're annoying, that doesn't mean you can hug me)

9)  Having someone understand what you mean, and how you feel. Just like-minded people in general. That kind of goes with what I said about good conversationists, but I guess I just love it that much I had to kind of mention it again. That feeling when you know someone thinks the same as you, and for a second you think just maybeeeee there is hope fore mankind.

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

10 Day You Challenge: 10 Secrets

Hey guys! I've been seeing these posts on a lot of blogs (particularly been enjoying Hayley's) so I thought I might as well just do it myself. Basically, it's a ten day challenge and on each day you gotta speak about different things (seen above in the photo). Pretty simple really. May give ya'll an inside into the person behind zedeatsworld and what not. So hope you enjoy! If not, then sorry.... (not really)

Ten Secrets

1) I have really disliked my university experience. I don't know if it's my course, or the uni in general, or the fact I have no idea what to do once I'm done, but its just given me nothing but endless stress. I really don't see it being the best 3 years of my life.

2) I sometimes wish I wasn't as academically capable, because then I'd feel less guilty for wanting to pursue a career in something creative like acting (silly reasoning, I know)

3) I hate socialising, which probably explains why I often die off of social networking sites. I moan about never having anything to do, but when I get invited to do something, I mostly make excuses not to because I'd much rather stay indoors.I really just enjoy my own personal space

4) I have a secret stash of junk food in my room, because I fear hunger. LOL what a piggy secret.

5) As morbid as it sounds, I constantly think about the things I'd want done if I die anytime soon. I've already told Zara all the things I'd want her to say to people that I'd never have the guts to do now (mostly rude things loool)

6) I buy myself presents that I'd love people to buy me. LOL that sounded so sad, but being my own best friend really does have its perks (how can I say no to chocolates in bed *flutters eyelashes)

7) I can't sleep properly if I do not sing myself to sleep. Even if it's in my head, I WILL SING THE NIGHT  AWAY. It makes my sleep more satisfying

8) When I tell someone I 'need to go to the loo' then proceed in going, it is always a lie. I haven't gone to pee, I've gone to look in the mirror and sort my face/hair out.


10) This isn't much of a secret if you know me well, but people often don't realise how serious I am about this... I HATE my feet. Their shape, how they look, everything... So much so, I don't own any sandals, and can never take my socks off in front of people. If you have ever seen my feet, it is my only sign of affection looool.

That was a bit depressing, but hopefully tomorrow's nine loves should be a bit better ;) ciao for now!

Thursday, 6 September 2012

And My Mind Continues To Drift

As usual- I have a billion and one thoughts, so I thought I'd so another post like this one because my rambling stream of consciousness seemed to get a good response- so here goes...

WHY THE HELL DID I JUST TAKE A NAP? I always feel like absolute shit after it, and now I can't be bothered to do anything. Why do I overly stress myself? I wish I could just get all this reading done asap, but no, I would rather online window shop on ASOS. DARN YOU ASOS. As Seen On Screen. What screen? Shutup. OOOOhHhH phone vibration. Oh for the love of everything and everyone- T-MOBILE, STOP CALLING ME!!! I already hung up once in your face, why are you calling me EVERYDAY NOW? CAN'T YOU TAKE A HINT? BUGABOOOOOO. Now I want to go on youtube and sing along to Destiny's Child. I want a fizzy drink. You know that first thirst quenching moment when you take that long gulp. I need that right now. I feel like it will fulfill me. YA MAKE ME WANNA THROW MY PAGER OUT THE WINDOW. I had a dream that me and two of my friends were starring in the video for Destiny's child 'Girl'. I hate that song, but I was Beyonce and I looked amazing. As much as I don't want you bugging me, leaving things on this note was not a smart move. You're not smart and your decisions are not smart either. You're one SCHUPID individual. I think it is fair to say that Mr Kipling does make exceedingly good cakes.

These cakes are my life. See I do have a life. Its pink and moist and amazing, with a bit of cream inside. That is NOT what she said you SICK people. When will you hurry up and get back from your dumb holiday? Things need to be done. PLANS. I HAVE A PLAN. Zara and I have a plan. I'm a man with a plan. Imagine I actually am a man and it took me 20 years of my life to finally realise? I dunno who will feel more cheated, me or ...LOL NO ONE. If all fails in my life, I really will give up and sell my hair as weave. A lot of people have suggested this. The bald man in Costa made my plan final. How do I get a nose ring without looking more Asian? That is the ultimate question. This is the confusion I face. How do I do this? I love finding secret passageways, I feel like I am a secret. Would it be cheesy of me to ask to be your secret. LOL AGAIN. I'm in such a LOL-ING MOOD. I wonder if you're happy with yourself- let me tell you now you shouldn't be.  What makes me happy? Chocolate. Endless chocolate.

LOOK HOW HAPPY ZAID IS. CHOCOLATE FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't walk up stairs without panting. Probably from all this chocolate. Whenever I walk up the stairs for work I imagine there are people watching me on the cameras and laughing because I stop every second to breathe. I'm pathetic. FREUD YOU ARE PATHETIC. WHY DID I CHOOSE TO READ YOUR WORK FOR MY DISSERTATION? I wish I could quote Eminem in my dissertation, so many of his lyrics would be so relevant, and then my dissertation would shit on all of your dissertations. I am so not looking forward to being back surrounded by the cocky people on my course. HI I'M EDGAR AND I'M FROM STUCK UP CUNT LAND. Hi, I'm Zaineb, KISS MY BUM.  No but seriously, why do boys still wear hoodies in this heat and come on public transport looking like they're ready to hurt someone? WHO HURT YOU BRO?! You know what I can't stand going to the dentist- but I think my last experience was decent. Although there was an awkward moment in the chair when my dentist was looking in my mouth- and Elvis Presley 'Can't Help Fallin' in Love' came on the radio, and my dentist was singing along, whilst staring into my mouth. And so I laughed. But instead a snort came out due to the fact that my mouth was open. So attractive. LOL did you seriously just call me mademoiselle in all seriousness? How can I not laugh? I hate when I know I'm right and yet I question my right-ness because YOU CAN'T STOP SHOUTING AT ME.  And then I look like a pushover, and then I imagine pushing YEW OVER A GODDAMN BRIDGE INTO THE WATER. P.s. I hope you can't swim.Don't make me do that again, it's not nice, nor fair.

It's amazing what light can do. I love colours. Why don't I have a favourite colour? I usually tell people I like green, and brown...but then I like orange, red, white, blue, purple... I LIKE ALL DA COLOURS BRO. If someone sneezed the way I just sneezed, I would have slapped them. I still wonder how you do that- you know, exist and annoy me all at the same time. It's amazing. But you don't amaze me.  I want to fall asleep on a park bench. I'm so grateful for the woman who sells jacket potatoes outside Pret a Manger, because she sells 50p canned drinks. I can then enjoy these with my pricey tuna and cucumber baguette. OH MY WORD. THE TUNA AND CUCUMBER BAGUETTE FROM PRET IS THE GREATEST THING. The bread, the way the cucumbers are all neatly placed, the right ratio between tuna and mayo. I will maybe dedicate a whole blog post to it, BECAUSE IT DESERVES IT. I will kiss the person who made that baguette, if your lips are as crusty as the bread- EVEN BETTER. I need a new winter jacket, unless someone will hug me 24/7 LOL JK GET OFF ME. Patting my foot like yeaaaaaah. I like to pat ma foot. If the dog next door does not stop barking, I promise I nothing. Apart from skank along to the barks like I'm in a rave. This is mon LIFE PEOPLE.  I seriously need that drink. I seriously need to start my work.

Monday, 3 September 2012

Wake Me Up When September Ends

So it's September, and oh how the summer has gone so FAST. I am about to embark on my final year of undergraduate study, and I really don't know how to feel about it. What happens next? What do I WANT to happen next? It kinda sucks that we've been made to feel that we have to decide our futures as soon as possible. And because of that, I kinda don't wanna get it wrong. That's why I'm hoping this year doesn't go fast, so I can have time to thhhhhhinkkkkkk. Although thinking has gotten boring and I've gotten to a stage where all I do instead is eat my thoughts away (I have recently been caught several times, sprawled out on the kitchen floor, just eating). To be honest, I would rather focus on how amazing my discounted Ben and Jerry's ice cream tastes, and set myself challenges like 'how fast can I reach the bottom of this ice cream tub', rather than have to sit and think of all the money problems and challenges I'll probably face in the future. I NEED TO STOP EATING MY EMOTIONS GODDAMNIT. I think it's just the fear of the unknown. I'd love to know how things are gonna work out for me. Right now, I just feel kind apathetic about it all.

Anyway, rather than reading the books I should be reading for my dissertation, I decided to revisit Tupac Shakur's poetry book 'The Rose that Grew From Concrete' today. I thought I'd share one of the poems from it, because I absolutely LOVE that book. If you haven't read it then I really recommend you do. It has a lot of different themes so there is bound to be at least one you like. I have 2 favourites, which I would share, but they kinda mean a lot to me  and I'M SELFISH AND WANNA KEEP THEM TO MYSELF OKAY?lol. I haven't really done this in a post before, but it's a new month, so why not eh!

When your heart turns cold
(2 Kristen & my other friends who wonder)
it causes your soul 2 freeze
It spreads throughout your spirit
like a ruthless feeling disease
The walls that once were down
now stand firm and tall
Safe from hate/love, pain/joy
until u feel nothing at all
When ure heart turns cold
a baby's cry means nothing
A dead corpse is trivial
Mothers neglecting children is daily
Loneliness becomes your routine friend
Death seems like tranquility
Sleeping is never pleasant
if u even sleep at all
u forgot ideals and turn off the reason
2 make sure the product gets sold
You don't understand how I behave
Just wait till your heart turns Cold!