Friday, 29 June 2012

Kids, Why Do You Anger Me So?

'Why do ya hate kids, Zaineb? WHY? HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THEIR INNOCENCE?' Because SHUT UP, that's why. No really, 'shut up' 'shut the fuck up' and an endless list of profanities is all that runs through my head when surrounded by kids. WHY DO YOU ANGER ME SOOOO?!?! I know this is gonna make me sound heartless, and evil, but let's be real, that is truly what I am.
To be honest, this whole thing has probably stemmed from watching T.V shows like Supernanny and all that other crap. Those shows have given me enough reason to hate all children that can speak with a passion. Don't get me wrong, (some) babies are cute..and even some kids! But as soon as they start speaking- HAVE MERCY ON ME. It's really hard to contain my anger around them, they just piss me off. It may be because I generally can't handle stupid beings, and to me, kids are soso stupid. No I don't mean in the sense of intelligence etc. etc. because ya can't expect a kid to know the world when they're young, but you know that moment when you have to small talk with a kid, and you have to dumb yourself down- I HATE THAT. I'M NOT STUPID, WHY DO I HAVE TO ACT IT? It really and truly pains me. And it shocks everyone when I say it, but I really can't help how I feel. 
I mean, one time I was with a couple of friends eating in a restaurant. A kid was sitting behind me making faces at my friends. They were obviously all saying 'awwwww she's so cute'... and what came out my mouth naturally and without any realisation???? Brace yourself people, I said to the child 'I want to kill you'. LOCK ME UP PEOPLE-WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? I think its become some sorta mental illness and I HATE IT. KIDS HAVE ACTUALLY TURNED ME INTO AN EVEN MORE EVIL PERSON. In my defense, it's not me, IT'S THEM I TELL YOU! All the friggin' noise they make, all in tune with one another, like a symphony of annoying-ness, all at the goddamn same time. And their wining and crying and noise noise noise and irritating-please-shut-up-now! 
And the worst is the kids that lack any discipline and shout at their parents.  I witnessed a child call their mum a 'fat cow'...the mum just took it. I mean, I know nothing about parenting, but if that were me, I sure as hell would look that kid right in the eye sternly and ask them 'how does it feel to be the SON OF A FAT COW'? Argh. Kids. Don't worry peeps, before you fear for my future children, I assure you, those days are a longgggg way away. Oh and I would like to point out that my children will probably be amazing, 'cause I myself was obviously the cutest child....but even I can admit that changed as soon as I was able to speak, haha.

Eating the world from a young age

Sunday, 24 June 2012

Southbank Food


hello




Baklawa heaven

Mushrooms and tomatoes- how can you NOT like em?


Azzuro Restaurant


One of my favourite Pizzas (Goats Cheese, Red Peppers, Red Onion Chutney)

Spaghetti alla Veneziana (Prawns, Crayfish, Garlic & Chilli in a Tomato Sauce)

Tagliatelle Fiorentina (Spinach, Mushrooms, Cherry tomatoes)


Moi and Krysten Ritter (lol)
Went to Southbank with my dad and sister the other day, so of course a few touristy photos of the food market were needed. We ate at an Italian Restaurant called Azzurro- would defo recommend it for staple Italian food. The customer service was good and the place itself wasn't too busy, which meant I could hear myself thinking about the food whilst eating it- DOUBLE ENJOYMENT. Plus there was a meal offer: Any pizza or pasta plus a soft drink for £7 something.Italian has to be one of my favourite cuisines 'cos it is filled with 3 things I love most in life- cheese, pasta, and pizza. CARBS <3 
Sorry for the second photo post in a row, but I love me some photos, especially if they're of food :)

Friday, 22 June 2012

Leicester To See My Love


BBQ chicken burger and sexy chips





Bruschetta


Just a few snaps from my trip to Leicester to visit my favourite person in the world, Zara. I don't even feel ashamed to be cheesey 'cause I actually love her :'(. It's hard to constantly take photos when you are busy enjoying/living the moment (the cheesiness will never stop). Only she knows the meaning of a 'perfect day', and that's constant food, constant laughter, and constant karaoke. Take note people! This is just a quarter of the food we consumed, but there was a copious amount. Food is just a perfect accompaniment to any activity...even exercise. And the explanation for constant ice cream is that I get a random craving every week, and this week it's ice cream. Even though its frigging raining, ice cream is an all season thang for moi. That burger and chips were so amazing.. I love me some FAT chips. We sat there eating and between breaths just saying eachother's names. SO ROMANTIC :'( .The rest of the time there was spent just gazing into each other's eyes.  Yes I did travel an hour from London to Leicester to eat and stare longingly into the eyes of my beautiful friend...the things you do for friendship (/love)...

P.s. Zara <3

Monday, 18 June 2012

How to Make Facebook More Tolerable


So last year I deleted my facebook. My reasoning for this: ‘FUCK THE WORLD’. However, a month ago I realised ‘why do I have THE WORLD on Facebook?’ If anything Facebook is what YOU make it, so if it's annoying you it is because you are letting it annoy you. YOU DON’T NEED THEM ANNOYING PEEPS ON YO LIST.

So… STEP 1…..YOU'RE KISSING ON MEEE (Fuck you PRETTY RICKY I CAN NEVER SAY STEP 1 WITHOUT  BREAKING OUT INTO YO SONG) anyways let me get back to it. STEP 1, and the only step: DELETE DEM MOFOS!!!

Do you need me to help you decide who is worth deleting? Yes of course you do.  How will I do this? I will distinguish between the different type of people you get on facebook, and why the fuck you want them outaaa yo’ life.





1)The ‘Annoying Status Updaters’ A.K.A. The I THOUGHT MY STATUS WAS MY DIARY WHORE

WOW. Where do I start with these people. These are the people who make you question if there is a new craze on Facebook called ‘LETS POST AN ANNOYING STATUS AND ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF ZAINEB ALL DAY AND EVERYDAY’.  A popular status often posted by the annoying status updater is: ‘ARGHGHGHG IM SO ANNOYED I HATE LIFE WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME I AM SO ANGRY I CAN’T STOP CRYING WAHH WAH WAHH FML FML FML WAHH’. And then usually you see the response ‘whatz rong BABEZ’ then the reply ‘NOTHING’. PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR THE SAKE OF MY EYES AND LIFE.  DELETE THEM HOES.

 

2) The ‘Who the fuck are you exactly and have we ever conversed????' randomers 

These are the people who have added you because they have seen you around. You might go to the same school, work together, blah blah blah. Have they ever spoken to you? No. Would they ever recognise you in the street and say hello? No. FUCK THEM AND FUCK THEIR STALKERY I-WANT-MORE-FACEBOOK-FRIENDS WAYS….delete!!!!

3) The ‘I upload a whole album of 100 pics of me doing the same pose’ Facebook models 

I have no words

4) The ‘my face is annoying and I bring you fury from just looking at me’ annoying beings 

We all know people that just irritate our soul from just looking at them, and can never quite figure out why. You know, when so and so updates their status and you BURN with anger.  With every flick of their photos you just want to murder them more and more and MORE AND QUESTION THEIR EXISTENCE. Practice breathing techniques, then delete them... It aint good fo’ yo heart.

5) The ‘I think I run MTV’ fake producers

These are the people who CONSTANTLY post links on your wall, homepage, photos, status, EVERYTHING saying something like ‘CHECK THIS OUT’ then adding a dumb youtube link of a song or some shit. In situations like this, you reply ‘CHECK TTTTTHIS OUT’…then delete them.


6) The ‘I am known to spread bullshit’ idiots

If you KNOW someone is on that Sherlock Holmes shiz, and will stalk you so bad they piece out FAKE  things and will go out of their way to gossip, why are they on your list? SAY GUTEN TAG AND DELETE THEM.



So that’s it. There are a heck load more annoying people on Facebook, because lets face it, most people are irritating... but once you delete these people off Facebook, you are left with the decent people who are your actual friends, and are ALLOWED to stalk your life. Then your newsfeed doesn’t move as much so you won’t even be constantly distracted by Facebook. And then..it is more tolerable!! If you are worried someone will get offended that you deleted them, LET THEM GET OFFENDED. THEY OFFENDED YOUUUU WITH THEIR ANNOYINGNESS. You will find that deleting people becomes so addictive you start to delete people you know and love, by accident.
An alternative would be to keep these annoying people and constantly cuss them, that’s always fun too.

HAPPY DELETING, PEOPLE!!!!

Saturday, 16 June 2012

Costco, Why You So Amaze?

TODAY... I went to Costco with the fam... today I also hyperventilated. What at? THIS:


I didn't take much pics, 'cos I was busy drooling and dying (what an image) but just wow. It felt like heaven. Here are a few cakes I wanted to sneakily put in the trolley:



I know Costco isn't only in England, but other countries are used to food coming in huuuge sizes. THAT SHIT IS RARE HERE IN ENGLAND.
I have concluded that Costco is not good for my heart both mentally and physically. I mean there were also motherfucking bouncy castles, and even when I suggested buying one to my mum, she nearly agreed. I didn't buy any of the bakery stuff, but I found £1 on the floor, so that just PROVES we were in heaven. Fuck what Lana Del Rey said. Heaven is NOT a place on earth with YOU it is a place on earth called Costco and I need no one or nothing there just their endless supplies of bulk food and wow.

Friday, 15 June 2012

Content

I'm sorry to go all cheesy on you...although I like me some cheese (the edible type)...but its days like this when you are stuck in doors with your family, a satisfied belly (maybe overly satisfied), and have nothing to worry about which make me think... I have A LOT to be grateful for. Sometimes I feel like I take the little things for granted. Like for example, when I once had a paper cut on my little finger. I could barely write 'cause of the pain, and it just made me think, I disregard that finger because it's always there under my nose. But once something happens to it, only then do ya realise that 'damn, it's pretty hard to write when this fingers in pain'. Ya'll probably get what I'm saying...so I'm gonna keep this short because I will probably look back and cringe and then possibly throw bleach in my eyes, but yeah.
Although I'm totally bored...things could be worse and I am living... *bites into apple*

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Tea Please



Different flavoured teas


Mozzarella and grilled veg & Hummous and roasted peppers 

Chocolate and nut Brownie, Chocolate velvet with icing, Banana and Nutella

Mint tea


My friend's leftovers. Sigh.


 Hello! Yesterday I headed to Oxford Circus with my friend just for a nice lunch date. This was Yumchaa in Soho, a cute little vintagey tea shop. They do sandwiches and cakes, so we had both, and it was just wow, which explains why we had trouble picking just one cake each.  There's a downstairs which has cute seating. I've tried so hard not to say cute a million times but I think it's the only word that describes this place adequately. Although there were all business men there as well so I guess it's not thattt cute, but LOOK AT THOSE TEA POTS AND THAT ELEPHANT PRINT TRAY. HOW CAN YOU NOT THINK THAT'S CUTE? The workers were friendly too, cracking a few nerdy jokes here and there, so I would defo recommend it. London is great for cute (lol) little places like this, but shit for a heck load of other things (that I will leave out for the sake of the positivity of this post haha). Defo keep a look out for little shops on backstreets, they are always the best! (and cutest)

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Liebster Blog Award

ELLO THUR...So I have been tagged to do this post by the hilarious MissBitch... check her out if you haven't already people!

Here is the meaning of the award and a bunch of adjectives that ironically don't describe me haha:

The Liebster Blog Award is given to upcoming bloggers who have less than 200 followers.
The Meaning; Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome.






Here are the rules:)

1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you plus create 11 questions for the people you've tagged to answer.
3. Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
4. Go to their page and tell them.
5. Remember, no tag backs



11 Things About Moi:

1. EMINEM. that is ALL....p.s. <3  

2. I have possibly the most hilarious and fucked up dreams EVER.

3. I'm left handed. Although I will most probably slap you with my right

4. The only thing I would consider myself to be good at is eating. 

5. I like to make scary faces at myself in the mirror until I'm freaked out by my own face.

6. The only food I dislike is CORIANDER. OMG SUCH A HIDEOUS HIDDDDEOUUUS thing.
please stop existing.

7. Although I am filled with hate and anger, I do a heck load of laughing. Mostly at people's stupidity though.

8. The animal that pisses me off the most in the world has to be a DOLPHIN. They are actual biatches and I hate em. You know if they were human they would be those irritating giggly girls you get at high school that are actually smart but love to act stupid and are all LOOK AT ME LOOK AT MEEE. WELL YA AIN'T CUTE.

9. I love love love acting.

10. I perv on women a lot more than I perv on men. But seriously men you are SLACKING. UP YO GAME PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

11. My favourite pass-time is lying down on my bedroom floor. Doing nothing. Occasionally breaking out in whale noises.



11 Questions from MissBitch:

1. Whats your favorite fast food place? (if you say you dont like fast food, you are lying)- Staying true to how I have been raised (in the cheap and grotty ends of london) I'd say any fried chicken shop.  And subway, I love me a good sandwich.

2. Whats your favourite alcoholic beverage? Martini-shaken not stirred (you can probably tell I don't drink)

3. Single or taken? Single and NOT WANTING TO MINGLE. I know I'm fantastic but please.

4. Lazy? LAZY IS MY LIFE. I don't think I have ever done something or been bothered for something until the very last minute. And even then it's done half-heartedly
  
5. Do you take naps? Rarely because I try so hard not to 'cause they make me feel EURGH

6. Whats your favorite book? SUCH a hard question considering I loveee reading. I'll name a few though: A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Great Gatsby, Wuthering Heights (I love me a fucked up love story) and of course.. Harry Potter. Purely for Draco.

7. Who is your favorite blogger? (Please link them). Also a hard question considering I've been reading blogs for YEARS. I don't wanna be the typical person and back out from answering but....

8. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? (Cant be anything about looks, because everyone is beautiful) hmmmm.. I'd make myself less fantastic because then ya'll can have a chance to catch up! Lol I kidd I kidd. Maybe make myself less lazy because it is the root to all my problems!

9. Cats or dogs? Cats.  Lol soon to be old cat lady

10. Why are girls so afraid to talk about their periods? I don't actually know! I always talk about periods though because they are the world's best excuse. And boys can never challenge it 'cause they JUST DON'T KNOW.

11. What kind of humor do you have? the greatest.


My 11 questions for those tagged:

1. Favourite food? (how could I not ask)
2. Ambitions?
3. Biggest fear?
4. Biggest turn off?
5. How do you like your eggs in the morning? (lol)
6. If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
7. Favourite feature in the opposite sex?
8. A feature you get most complimented on?
9. Biggest pet peeve?
10. Favourite person?
11. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? (cliche answers are adorable but please avoid them haha)

I tag:



(sorry this isn't 11 people :S )

Sunday, 10 June 2012

ANGER AT ESSAYS

 *WARNING. A HECK LOAD OF SWEARING AND LETTING LOOSE ON THE CAPS LOCK. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, THEN WOW. BUT YEAH, DON'T READ IF YOU ARE*

There's nothing worse than actually putting your heart and soul into an essay, only to have your teacher RIP THAT HEART AND SOUL TO GODDAMN PIECES. Don't get me wrong, I like to learn from my mistakes and I can agree when I feel I genuinely don't deserve a good grade due to the reasons the teacher leaves in the comments...But I can't agree when your reason for giving me a shit grade is in reality, a stupid one. When I have actually had sleepless nights  because of an essay, I EXPECT AT LEAST A DECENT GRADE.
You are probably thinking 'Oh Zaineb, you probably got a bad grade because you stressed and worried too much'. In a world where people are able to reason, you would be right. BUT IT SEEMS AS THOUGH THERE IS NO REASONING IN THIS WORLD. SO FOR THE SAKE OF MY ANGER AND THE RANT I'M ABOUT TO HAVE, YOU ARE ALL GODDAMN WRONG. How does it feel to be wrong? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE TOLD YOU ARE WRONG BY ME, EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW AND FEEL YOU ARE RIGHT?! Exactly how I felt with this essay.
Why is it that the essays I leave last minute and bullshit my way through, I do better in? Why is it when I actually do the required research and extra reading for an essay, I get a SHIT mark? What does that say about your intellect, oh TEACHER? If shit last minute rushed work which spews bullshit is what you want, I WILL GLADLY GIVE YOU THAT. Why should I care about my degree and actually be bothered to do the work if it seems to be bullshit which you credit and mark highly? I wasn't aware I was doing a degree in bullshit, but thank you for making me realise now, I will GLADLY continue with the bullshit, as it will make life a heck load easier for me. It also pisses me off that most reasons for getting a shit grade is 'I didn't agree with your argument'. Oh, well I'm sorry, but was it an argument? Did I argue? YES YES AND YES. SO FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHIT OPINION. Sigh. Doing an English degree really does take it out of you. Seems as though it hasn't taught me a heck load of vocabulary choices, but instead how to SWEAR AND HATE THE GODDAMN SYSTEM (I do love my degree otherwise though haha).
TO CONCLUDE THIS ANGRY POST, FUCK THE SHIT GRADE I GOT, FUCK HAVING HARD WORK CRITICISED WITH NO ACTUAL CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, FUCK ESSAYS IN GENERAL, oh and whilst we are at it, FUCK THE POLICE.



Saturday, 9 June 2012

A Food Date in East London

Interesting choice of wall art
Really strong Pomegranate Juice
Apology cupcakes for the bad juice
Our thank you
First time Starbucks have spelled my name right (did have to spell it for them)
Happy Mariyam
Hello! Here are a few pics of my day out with my friend Mariyam. Apologies for the mix of camera and phone pics.
The place we went to eat at in Brick Lane was quite...bleh...even though we had been there before and liked it. We both got chicken steak with chips, and it was just....satisfactory. Didn't have me thanking everything and everyone with every mouthful. The drinks were freshly made but SO strong that we had to revert back to getting fizzy drinks. There we were trying to be 'different' by ordering juice haha. The staff were really nice though and gave us little apology cupcakes. This is why I always tell people they must SPEAK UP, 'cause there are sometimes benefits of doing so, and boy do I know it from the countless complaints I've made in life...but that's a story for another time.
Dessert was...wow. Just wow. We went to Cookies and Cream in Whitechapel. People rave about Haagen Dasz restaurant, but the quality/portions here are the same if not better, but more reasonably priced. There is also a heck load more variety. I had a Brownie temptation, because I was...tempted *angel face* haha. It was so good, even when I got full I forced myself through it. For my sake and your sake, lets look at it again:


I have no words. Well that's a lie, I do, but they are all rather distasteful.

We finished our day off with a good ol' Starbucks frappe. But the Starbucks itself was full so we had to sit outside in a park in the FAH-REEZING cold. It was an...odd...park filled with mostly men and hardly any children. One of the stupid men thought it were somewhat necessary to clap like an idiotic seal so some pigeons would fly around us. I LOATHE and FEAR pigeons, and he realised this whilst we tried tip-toeing past a whole crowd of them. My biggest fear in life is getting bitch-slapped in the face by a pigeon one day, and this stupid man with no life who clearly spends it in the park NEARLY made that fear a reality.  Did I mention how much of a STUPID MAN he is?
Despite the near death experience, 'twas a wonderful day overall  :)